Mr. Brown, Mr. Brown....

I have to admit, Mr. Brown has a hold on me like no other man ever has. I want him so bad.I'm like a puppet around him, catering and babying him...

What's wrong with me?
He just seems like he is the perfect combination for me.....but am I jumping to conclusions here, am I just fantasizing. Is what I'm feeling even real? And boy does he has a rock solid shield up, that shit is thicker than fucking "Fort Knox". One minute he is so caring, attentive and makes me feel like I am what he has been looking for and then within the same breathe is so cold it hurts.
I'm always left on the verge of crying and wondering wtf just happened while checking my calender to see if my cycle is due; as to explain why i'm being so fucking emotional with him.

My only explanation so far; is that I got it "BAD" real "BAD"......"Micheal Jackson BAD".
It's not like me to put up with this nonsense. Why him? Why now?
Most of my close friends describe me as "untamed". With men I always manipulate the situation until I get my way; weather it be acting like a child, throwing tantrums, picking fights or down right guilt trips....I usually get my way sooner or later.

But with Mr. Brown; it's "his way" or "his way". There doesn't seem like there is another option with this man. And talk about bad timing; Horrible Timing....... Just Horrible!

I find myself wondering; Is he "the one" to put an end to "My little black book". I have to snap back into reality. I'm not throwing in the towel on promise and potential.
I mean...WTF is wrong with me?
Besides I don't know if I am really capable of giving myself fully to a man, he would have to be one hell of a man.
Is Mr. Brown him? Am I really willing to pay the price for "his Sugar"?
Ladies I might be in way over my head with this one, so until I feel like I'm on secure ground, I have to keep my head on straight with my eyes on the prize.

It's off to Vegas with Mr. Blackcard in a few weeks .....hopefully I can start furnishing my apartment when I get back. ;).