Here's to "New Beginings"

Hey everyone, I am so sorry I have been away from you all so long...

 I had some soul searching to do. ...Lots..

I am currently living in sunny "South Florida"....and loving it!!!!

It's so funny how you can live ...day in and day out and not feel alive. I'm starting to feel alive again.

I hibernated for months in NY... still seeing Mr. EMS and Mr. Blackcard but I felt empty....so empty.

 I needed a fresh start, a new beginning.

THIS IS MY NEW BEGINNING

What would any new beginning be without all of you ! You've followed me so far through this journey and to my readers old and new....I just wanted you all to know I appreciate you ;)

My last few months in New York were the worst few months of my life. I woke up most mornings feeling like I wanted to die, I couldn't breathe, tears ran down my chest like a faucet and standing still or at all was next to  impossible. Panic attacks the doctor calls it. ....Ambien, Xanex and Lexapro he prescribes me....

but even medicated I couldn't pretend anymore...I didn't want to...I wasn't able too.

I started taking more and more trips to visit a close friend of mine in Florida..She has the cute little family thing going on and I was happy there. So I decided to just up and move about an hour away from her

Far Enough For Privacy Of-course :)

Her brother, let's call him Army-Thug, gave me his hoopty to drive til he comes out of the army. I have a lot of love for him, he's calming.

New town, New Chapter.. Hope your as excited as I am to see what comes next!

As requested.. I have YOUR UPDATES!!!!!!!!!! :)

Army-Thug,  my bff's 26 year old brother ...I know it's a big no no but we created this bond over the years and it seems like he has the potential to be the one.... He came to visit me in NYC and I swear, one weekend with him brought me out of my depression completely. He's so young yet I feel completely safe and comfortable with him. He has such confidence in himself, and believes that he can make me happy... I trust him... like I've never trusted any man before... I don't want to hurt him.

Mr EMS kept saying "I Love You" every time we linked up, in hopes that I would say it back. He wanted to meet my friends, my family...although I had absolutely no interest in meeting his :( ..I know this sounds terrible but every night he came by I counted down the seconds til it was over. Til the night we were sipping on wine looking out my window at the beautiful brick-wall view provided by my then mice infested, apartment building and  he turned and asked " What I thought of retiring with him on ranch in Ohio?"
I was like WTF! ... I def didn't see that one coming. I could even kiss him after that.

 Mr. Blackcard and I never recovered our last trip to vegas, but he would still booked my tickets for me and I am super grateful that he gave me the down payment for my new place in Florida...but I have a feeling that's it for him. As sugarbabe's we know when it's over.
And it's Over......

Young London, I was introduced to him through my family.Sweet boy...26yrs old who is about to graduate with a degree in architecture. I have a feeling about him.... not sure what it is but you gotta love a man who thinks he can....huh

Well thats all I have for you thus far my babies.....Til next time..... muaaaah
WISH ME LUCK!!!!