Difficulties Of Being A Sugar Baby After College

You love the feeling of being with someone more successful that you, someone who can show you the world. You may have even had a SD or two in college that gave you your first taste of luxury living and now your hooked. You have travelled to Beijing, Shanghai, Suzhou, Hangzhou, Hong Kong, Abuja, Lagos and the majority of the caribbean islands by now. You may have started your own small business since we are in the era of the internet and it's relatively assessable to do and that is ok because your ambitious. You were that college student with her head on but now you're over 25 and achieved your college degree/degrees, working the workforce and an occasional break to be spoiled and pampered by someone who may even be in a position to guide you to that next level in life seems like the perfect idea. So now your enthusiastic, back online and open to finding your perfect arrangement. 

After a few weeks of reading emails you finally realize that finding an arrangement that gives you the level of interest you initially had in college might be a tad bit different this time around. Finding someone who you "now" find interesting enough to actually want to put in the effort to pursue it past the initial inbox, email and phone call process of online dating comes far and in-between. Even when you do meet someone that's interesting and fit's the bill, there is no guarantee that location and personal preferences {i.e.. ethnicity, gender, style, compatibility etc} will allow you both to be a match.

It's so much harder for a sugar baby after college because now you have seen the world, tasted 5 star living and want more of it [sinister laugh input here :) ]. When a 18 year speaks of seeking the experience of a better lifestyle and mentorship it is very different than a 27 year old saying it because at 27 she's most likely not eating cup of noodles out of her dorm room anymore and is a bit more cultured since she spent a few semesters abroad.

[please excuse me as I rant]

No offense but at 27 years old, staying interested in someone who has only been as far as Las Vegas, woke up one day joined seeking arrangement because it popped up on the right hand side of his social media account only because he spent the night before googling escorts in his area, while going through some sort of mid-life crises after self-concluding that since women his own age find him impossible to deal with he can definitely just pay a younger woman who will. Here is the reality check, it is also absolutely impossible for said younger woman to deal with you as well, nothing has changed.

The definition of a Sugar Baby [According to SeekingArrangements.com] is: 

"Attractive people looking for the finer things in life. They appreciate exotic trips and gifts. Sugar Babies get to experience a luxurious lifestyle, and meet wealthy people on a regular basis" 

not:

"Attractive people looking to meet total strangers after only one email from a long winded profile about someone's long list of self absorbed demands, then meet said "stranger" at the local Italian Diner to hear more uninteresting facts about him then plan to hook up once a week for 200 bucks and an occasional gift card to amazon.com"

nor:

"Attractive young people with their lives together, looking to date men the same age with the same income who think sex is a subvention on their end of the arrangement because they themselves are young and hot". Yes you are hot and you work out everyday, we can tell by the 5 half naked pictures you posted but being 27 and single doesn't make her a young cougar dude. You would have to add 30+ years and botox for that arrangement to work.

[rant over]

I am not trying to insult anyone, so please forgive me if I have done so, it was not my intention. I am just merely trying to express my frustrations with the 5 or so discouraging inbox messages I get a week on this sugar site and others. 

Granted, I have meet a potential or two while recently exploring online sugar dating so I'm not at all discouraged, this article is just an expression of my recent difficulties as a Sugar Baby after college "

Hustling With A Plan

From day one, I've always known the things in life that I wanted and the things I needed to change. I may not have known how I was going to get it but I always know what would make me happy.

With every POT I met, I "Hustled With A Plan", having a plan of action is so much more important than the romantic and spoiling part of the relationship.

Making sure that you leave the relationship better than you came into it is an essential rule in any type of relationship [ IRL relationships, friendships etc..]

Whether it was school books, new clothes, a down payment on an apartment, new furniture... #whatever it was. I already knew what I needed from my new SD from day one. The goals after that just to get it, if a POT doesn't see financially capable of helping obtain these goals, I kept it moving.

Of course, I never started asking for a list of items at first but I did let him know where I currently was in my life and where I was trying to get to. This can scare some men away and that's ok. I rather spend my time talking to those who can afford to help me in my pursuits than waste days, weeks, months trying to get something out of someone who doesn't have it.

In the beginning, I always try to find out as much as possible about the POT

* What he does for a living
* Does he own any businesses and property
* His real name (first and last)
* Is he married, does he have kids
* Where does he travel
* Recreational activities

With a little research, all of theses questions can help you establish an idea of what he makes and what kind of disposable income he actually has for his fun activities "such as yourself" :)

For Example: 

If you meet a POT who owns a business but has with a wife, 3 kids still in school and you want him to put you through school, buy you a car etc ....
Honey it's not happening, he might have money but it won't be yours. He has the responsibility of raising three young kids with his wife. He does want another baby to take care of he just want fun and  might be able to give you a few dollars here and there but how does this help your "Plan Of Action"

This is what I mean when I say #HustleWithAPlan, if you know from the get-go what you are trying to accomplish you will know it this type of relationship works for you or not.

If you are a young girl just trying to get here phone bill paid or some pocket money this might work for you, but if you need a lot more...you might just have to say NO to this one. Why waste everyone's time.

**********************

At this stage in my life I want to pay off my car a bit more quickly, I have a business that is still in it's start up stage and constantly needs new inventory and I want to buy a house (the condo is getting a bit to small with a man living in it). Although I'm in a relationship with a successful awesome guy, I'm not married and I also want to obtain all these things without changing my current relaxed lifestyle and schedule. Some women would say I should take on more work but those are also the same women that walk around looking #hella stressed and weighed down ....making in a month what an experienced SB can get in a day if she #HustlesWithAPlan.

So, I am currently open to the right sugar relationship, as long as it doesn't interfere with my current relationship I think I'll be ok with it but I won't enter one unless I know my POT is willing and able to actually provide what I need in the long run because I always #HustleWithAPlan

NOTE: 
I read this article today -----> How To: Juggling IRL Boyfriends and Sugar Daddies
Have any of you read it before? 
Let me know what you think, also if you ladies are in IRL relationship and have an SD....please fill me in on how it's working out for you. 

I'll keep you posted, let's see what February brings...

The "Sugar Bible" : Sugardaddy 101 by Leidra Lawson

    

The Sugar Baby Bible

So many sugar babies ask me how did I get started, what should they do?

It's so hard to explain to someone, how to go about finding the right sugar daddy without them knowing at least the basics for the game.  This book shows you the basics, from many different angles and just like any other aspect of life you have to invest in yourself in some way, shape or form. I'm sure if it's important to you, you will find $14.99 (for the amazon download) to invest in yourself.

Honestly, I can't stress enough that I wouldn't have made it through my earlier stages in life without this book,  I've read most of the sugar literature out there on the market but no one has put it as simple and as easy to interpret into my own life as Leidra Lawson did in " Sugar Daddy 101".

I have to give props where props are due. If you want to be in successful in the sugar game #getthisbook

I had the opportunity to speak with Leidra in the earlier stages of my SBhood and she really has such a wonderful, #real personality. I love it when a sister keeps it real. ( yes ladies, she's a sister)

** Leidra, If your reading this, FYI: I'm still awaiting on "Sugar Daddy 102", your killing me here **

It's 2016, It's Been 3 Years My Babies But I'm Back !!!

So much has changed in my life over the last 3 years, I met a wonderful dream guy who's only a year older than me. He makes over 100K annual,  loves the dirt I walk on, my family adores him and things are really good right now.

I'm at an amazing stage in my life at the age of 32.

With all my previous accomplishments, I probably looked like a perfect catch for this guy, when we met I was 30 years old, college educated, owned my own condo, car and already had a profitable business running but I always smile to myself and wonder "if he ONLY knew"... that the furniture that he sits on, the bed he sleeps on and the entire lifestyle that he is now  privileged to... was all bought for me courtesy of a Sugar Daddy.

I now live a pretty comfortable life, and if you have ever read my blog, you know that was not always the case.

I let him move in my condo over a year ago, with the responsibilities of paying my mortgage and car note. So on the first of the month he has my envelope ready. I also have a credit card that he pays for, plus the income that I make is all mine to do with as I please. Big difference from the hustle, but still a #hustle.

You would think that I would be content, but the saying is true "the more money you have, the more you do".

I'm now the proud owner of an international business with 2 locations and there is so much responsibility and expenses that come up every day. I would mind finding and SD again that could work with my situation, in order to get me to the next level of comfort.

I have all my days free now and I set my own schedule, it's just a thought for now, I will keep you posted.

I started a new Sugar Baby Facebook account, they are so much more of you babies online than before, I remember when they were just a handful of us. I do hope I can reconnect with all of the old girls if your still online #HitMeUp and if any of the new girls need any help feel free to reach out.

Muaaaaah, Until I post again my babies.

Long Awaited Update: Mountain Tops & Valleys Lows

It's been two long, hard years since I moved from the big city to South Florida. I know it's been a while since I updated my blog but things weren't like the used to be......

I Grew Up...

However, I did try to stay in touch with my favorite SB's through Facebook here and there...just to let you guys know I was still in the game and thinking about you.... my babies.

I am 30yrs old now and all though I have been very blessed...I must admit that it hasn't been easy. Building a career in a new state, dealing with frenemies and down right just trying to survive....It's been one hell of a journey...but I'm glad I did it. I've learned valuable life lessons, a new found appreciation for the simple things in life and most of all I've learned that not everyone is as blessed as I have been, everyone struggles, life isn't a fairytale, so NO ....not everyone ends up like "Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman". It's a tough world out here and although we all put on our happy face and head out into the world, what really counts is our peace of mind at the end of the day. I have met many new "POTs" as you ladies now call it.....but everyone has problems even the "Wealthy", nothing is as black & white as it seems, holding on to "you" in the progress is hard, remembering who you are, why your decided to be a SB in the first place is important because there is so many gray areas in the progress.

On the upside, I've made a very good SB friend here, I took her under my wing about a year ago and she doesn't know it yet but she does make the journey a bit easier knowing I have someone that struggles the way I do.

So, here is an unexpected update:
Mr. Blackcard  and I are going to vegas in jan.......

PAUSE.... I KNOW I SAID "MR. BLACKCARD"

Who remembers Mr. Blackcard?....

I can't believe it's been 5 years since I first met him and his two boys back in NYC...
Ladies recently with Mr. Blackcard back on the scene, I can honestly say I miss him and all the perks. I believe everything in life happens for a reason,  there is a saying that :

Only if you have been in the deepest valley, can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
~ Richard M. Nixon 

Well my dears, these last two and a half years of my life have been my deepest valleys, and I truly do know now how magnificent the mountain tops are, and with that said, I repeat; Mr. Blackcard and I are going to Vegas in January ....Tickets First Class Booked, Spa and Facial Booked. I am also going to a convention for my small business that I started earlier this year.......

how magnificent these mountain tops

Til next time my babies...muah!

**BLAST FROM THE PAST** "D" is back

For those of you who followed my blog over the years .... 

I hope you remember "D" .... 

Most of you loved him and some of you thought he would have been the one. 

For those of you that are new to my blog, this is like that "WTF" moment in your favorite soap opera when the last person you expect to show up, burst through the door.

We all know that I'm not 19 anymore, it's been over 10yrs since "D" and I met each other. I'm a bit more mature and confident in myself. Yet the idea of him back brought back all those insecurities of not being able to fit in his life. In the last 72hrs my life has gone from mundane to full blown ecstasy. The past couple years hasn't been reasy , I have had far more than my fair share of problems, disappointments, and stress.

So here is how it all started:

On thursday night, I laid there in bed browsing celebrity photos feeling a bit restless, tossing and turning. To my surprise, I got a emailing from "D" saying " Can I call you, I'm going to your island and I need your advice". Of course I said sure and gave him my number.  He called, we spoke for about 2hrs..we laugh, and laughed. "D" was a breathe of fresh air. Apparently he has been separated for about a year and a half now, from the russian chick his mom liked more than me. I thought that I would have enjoyed hearing that more than I actually did but I heard his bitterness. 

He was saddened over his failure. 

He told me he would be arriving in tampa on friday to donate furniture sitting in a condo there he was selling. He asked If I could spend a few days with him as he would be leaving to go abroad on tuesday. My first reaction was a hell no, I told him I had to work and couldn't just pick up and leave like that I am not a 21 yr old anymore. He also asked if I could meet him on my island in february, and I said no to that. I talked to my SB friend Camilla (some of you know her) and she thought I was nuts not to go. 

I came to work the next day and it just so happened that I had a conference in orlando on tuesday, and was off monday. So ladies guess what I did. .... I drove 4 1/2 hrs to Tampa to see him afterwork on sunday night (WTF).  

Long Story Short: He booked my ticket to the islands and hotel the next day :)

So "D" and I will have three days in the caribbean together ....... What to wear, What to wear!!!!! 

Introducing "Mr.Risk Management"

"Mr.Risk Management" lives right here in sunny Florida. We met on "AM" but added each other to linkin.com where we were able to see and verify our professional lives and connections.
Apparently he launched many successful start-ups and is still on the board of directors for few but his cash cow was his risk management company.

After work one night I met him at Bal Harbor for drinks before we committed to an 3+ hour dinner. Omg girls ....it was a breathe of fresh air as we sat on the balcony of the restaurant with city views. We talked all night about travel and my possible upcoming promotion which btw.... I GOT :) (just incase you missed my endless post about it....lol)

We had such a relaxing time that we decided to continue for dinner. He took me off the island to this quiet lil French restaurant .... The food was awesome especially being on a "I Just Moved To A New City" budget for what seen to be foreveeeeeeer . I honestly had a good time.

While he was away, we made south beach dinner plans for the night following him return. Unfortunately I had to cancel because I stayed late at work but surprising "Mr. Risk Management" drove almost an hour north to take me to lunch thevery next day...that definitely impressed me.

So Ladies, tomorrow I will be heading to south beach for champagne and dinner..... Wish me luck and I'll def keep my babies posted :)