I'm Back, What's Next?

Hello Ladies,

I know I've been a total hermit, but I won't lie to you....It's been hell.
Moving to a new city, leaving your main sugar daddy behind, loosing who you thought was your best friend and  trying to grow within your company all at the same time...is a lot for anyone to handle. But It's all working out. I've matured so much, I shock myself. After received my promotion @ work...I'm excited to return ...stronger and more confident. So many people  expected me to fail...but i'm a survivor!
Besides a generous Salary, Benefits and Bonuses allows me to be a bit more stable and less dependent on an SD....Now I can finally need to take this sugar game to the next level.

Here's and update:

Army-Thug,  goals was to become the largest drug dealer on this side of the east coast, he gave me a car when I moved down here and in return I allowed him to crash at my spot once he paid half. plus the sex was totally insane...lets call this my moment of insanity. Living with him was the worst experience ever... lets just leave it at that. He's currently in jail ** what was I thinking**

 Mr EMS. still text's me to this day but I  wish he wouldn't . I've reach out to him a few times and he did absolutely nothing to help me with my move or situation.

Mr. Blackcard, is still such a miserable old man.... 

Young London, Man I really need to stop trusting my feelings .... he's a weirdo

Honestly ladies, I am at a point in my life where I needed more from this SB life, I started to wonder if it was really for me....I will be 30 yrs old in a year and a few months..... Whats next?   


As I get older I need more than just financial assistance. I am ready for the next level? I'm mature enough for it. And I'm not desperate ... no rush SB/SD arrangements. I'm taking my time with this one.
I try dating my age group and after so many years in this lifestyle I can not adapt. I honestly am attracted to the older successful gentlemen. I need someone who needs me in there life as much as I need them in mine.


What's NEXT? I have no idea....but I promise you it will be bigger and better than It was before.


I'm not sure I'm ready for the "Anna Nicole Smith " situation but I def will consider "Naomi Campbells".

As always thank you all for following my blog, I appreciate your support. 

I'll keep you posted ;)

Here's to "New Beginings"

Hey everyone, I am so sorry I have been away from you all so long...

 I had some soul searching to do. ...Lots..

I am currently living in sunny "South Florida"....and loving it!!!!

It's so funny how you can live ...day in and day out and not feel alive. I'm starting to feel alive again.

I hibernated for months in NY... still seeing Mr. EMS and Mr. Blackcard but I felt empty....so empty.

 I needed a fresh start, a new beginning.

THIS IS MY NEW BEGINNING

What would any new beginning be without all of you ! You've followed me so far through this journey and to my readers old and new....I just wanted you all to know I appreciate you ;)

My last few months in New York were the worst few months of my life. I woke up most mornings feeling like I wanted to die, I couldn't breathe, tears ran down my chest like a faucet and standing still or at all was next to  impossible. Panic attacks the doctor calls it. ....Ambien, Xanex and Lexapro he prescribes me....

but even medicated I couldn't pretend anymore...I didn't want to...I wasn't able too.

I started taking more and more trips to visit a close friend of mine in Florida..She has the cute little family thing going on and I was happy there. So I decided to just up and move about an hour away from her

Far Enough For Privacy Of-course :)

Her brother, let's call him Army-Thug, gave me his hoopty to drive til he comes out of the army. I have a lot of love for him, he's calming.

New town, New Chapter.. Hope your as excited as I am to see what comes next!

As requested.. I have YOUR UPDATES!!!!!!!!!! :)

Army-Thug,  my bff's 26 year old brother ...I know it's a big no no but we created this bond over the years and it seems like he has the potential to be the one.... He came to visit me in NYC and I swear, one weekend with him brought me out of my depression completely. He's so young yet I feel completely safe and comfortable with him. He has such confidence in himself, and believes that he can make me happy... I trust him... like I've never trusted any man before... I don't want to hurt him.

Mr EMS kept saying "I Love You" every time we linked up, in hopes that I would say it back. He wanted to meet my friends, my family...although I had absolutely no interest in meeting his :( ..I know this sounds terrible but every night he came by I counted down the seconds til it was over. Til the night we were sipping on wine looking out my window at the beautiful brick-wall view provided by my then mice infested, apartment building and  he turned and asked " What I thought of retiring with him on ranch in Ohio?"
I was like WTF! ... I def didn't see that one coming. I could even kiss him after that.

 Mr. Blackcard and I never recovered our last trip to vegas, but he would still booked my tickets for me and I am super grateful that he gave me the down payment for my new place in Florida...but I have a feeling that's it for him. As sugarbabe's we know when it's over.
And it's Over......

Young London, I was introduced to him through my family.Sweet boy...26yrs old who is about to graduate with a degree in architecture. I have a feeling about him.... not sure what it is but you gotta love a man who thinks he can....huh

Well thats all I have for you thus far my babies.....Til next time..... muaaaah
WISH ME LUCK!!!!

Thinking of what's has/will become of me......

Thinking of what's become of me, why has this SB/SD lifestyle becomes so natural to me...

Will I ever get out? Do I even want out?

I've been pretty sucessful with this choice of lifestyle thus far, and I'm ready to take it to the next level.

Anxiety takes over me...because I live two lives; one as Dionne Davenport and the other use to be the "real me". Currently, I don't even know who the real me is anymore; I've become so involved with both side of me and have invested so much in both that now I feel stuck because I can't chose between the two. Which one should I be? I just always assumed one side would have taken over the other by now. I just can't fully let either go. Every once in a blue, I find a guy I can see myself married to but I've gotten so used to the stability that the SB lifestyle has given me, so I run back to dionne. Then on days i'm in vegas laying poolside with an overweight, annoying fuck older than my dad (aka Mr. Blackcard) rubbing his balls at every woman that walks by I say FML and go running back to my otherself.

Since age twelve my relationship with this concrete jungle has been bittersweet. As most Caribbean children whose families migrated to New York, my journey began in Brooklyn. However I detest the borough of Brooklyn; my memories of “BK” don’t consist of the boutiques in Brooklyn Heights, the tree lined streets of Fort Green, or the beautiful restaurants and harbor of Sheepshead Bay. Unfortunately, I am also not cool enough to claim the drug infested government housing of Marcy Projects or any of the other death traps most of hip-hop’s great talent such as Jay Z has struggled to rise above.


“My New York” first consisted of East Flatbush. Think of East Flatbush as the port authority for the Caribbean; its residents on a whole were and still are the holier than thou Bajans, curry smelling Trinidadians, iguana eating Guyanese, know it all Haitians and the ever fearless of them all, Jamaicans. I still remember the first place we called home, a 3rd floor condominium in a building belonging to the father of my new, self-absorbed stepfather. Although this home was modern in comparison to the Caribbean, I couldn’t grasp the reason for bars on the 3rd floor windows. Were Spiderman and his marvel buddies to invade us during the night to steal me away? I remember looking out the window of my bedroom one night thinking, wherever Spiderman wanted to take me had to be better than New York.

Soon after, I found the adaptation to life in New York pretty uninteresting. In New York, children suffered from bulling because they didn’t have the right materialistic items such as Jordan sneakers or Jas Sport knapsacks. Parents protested the use of prayer in the public school system. Female students talked about becoming the next big celebrity in order to show off the “rims” they were going to buy with their “paper” for the Cadillac’s that their “man” will give them because he’ll be impressed with the way “they put it on him.” At twelve year s old, I became familiar with words and phrases through my peers, words I never heard come out of a mother’s mouth even on her angriest of days. I assumed being a New Yorker meant being vulgar, materialistic, reckless, rebellious and free to do as you please.

Was this the reason we moved to New York? In my country, uniforms in schools were the only fashions a twelve year old knew; prayer was mandatory in the mornings and before lunch, trades were learned from the elementary level, and you were expected to work in the education, agriculture, medicine or tourism industry in order to become a contributing member of our country. That was just the way it was. I guess my mother wanted me to have the freedom and opportunity to do whatever I wanted, so I did just that from then on and I didn’t want to be a New Yorker. I return to my country of birth at least twice a year just to hold on to my culture and not lose track of what we stood for. At first it was to visit family I missed. Then it became a break I needed from school; now it’s a small apparel import hustle I’ve created while I’m there on vacation. On each visit back to what once was my home; I am perceived more and more as a foreigner.

I sometimes wonder, how come it was so easy for me to become a sugarbabe....why does it come so natural to me. Its as though in rebelling I became a New Yorker, a New York sugarbabe.Taking that initial embrace of its culture a bit too literal, when at the age of twenty-seven I awaken most days at noon, stumbling back into slumber around 4am and have at most 2-3 lonely  46-57yrs men at my beckon call. I don’t even remember conforming. It feels as though it happened over night. Being a New Yorker and living the “New York” way of life eventually lead to my constant state of insatiability and greed, amongst a few other personality disorders I dare not mention that define my very being. Surprisingly, my mother seems rather proud of my nothingness; she even brags of me being so carefree. I now choose to pursue a career that influences the bullies who may degrade that young child in school whose parents may have just moved here and can’t afford to buy her those now material items; Coach shoes and Longchamp bag as yet. To some, I may be the most superficial person they know, but to New York I’m right at home somewhere and this has become my culture, my comfort. I am a New Yorker, and this is “My New York”.

First Time Shopping with Mr. EMS....

Yesterday was my first shopping day with Mr. EMS. First thing first, my $1330 Dameir LV bag ( purchased by Mr. Mob in 2007) had an unfortunate accident last year which resulted in a $424.61 bill to repair it. Now my babies I have a strict rule against spending my own money so it's been sitting there waiting for pick up for a while :(... that was our first stop. :)

Especially after my SB in training Camilla Chamoun got he first LV bag last week. I was soooo jealous. 

Next on the list are clothes for my trip to Vegas with Mr. Blackcard, he has seen my whole closet by now and honestly speaking I think he might have purchased at least half of whats in there..with my SB friend going I have to look even hotter than she does...after all he is my SD.**big grin**

Down to SOHO we went, one of my favorite shopping neighborhoods.

Since he is still pretty new to me.....I still needed to feel out his shopping style so I know what stores to target..some guys are so picky about what they spend their money on. 

Test: I went into Sunglass Hut and tried a pair of Gucci's on and asked him how it looks and he said it looks like I was wearing a $300 pair of shades and then gave me a long winded speech about it....

OH BOY I thought....

I really hoped he didn't care my babies but sometimes thats how the cookie crumbles :/ 

 I knew I had to approach this from a different angle. 

Approach: I went into Top Shop, he was on my tail the whole way through looking at the prices of everything I picked up....I bought an outfit which came out to $120 which calmed his nerves, he actually said wow we're finished already, I smiled inside knowing then he was now comfortable. ** bigger grin**

From there we went into BEBE (one of my favorite non-designer stores btw) 

I had them set up a fitting room for me while we walked though the store he hardly realized what was going on.... I kept talking to him about many random topics. Then I told him to sit and I went to try on a few things. I modeled a few for him ... which he liked very much. then came out and went straight to the register and handed them my Clubcard. The bill was about $500 he looked puzzled for a bit...I just smiled and started looking at other things saying things like "OMG how cute is this one" of course the sales associates encourage me big time.

 Babies I have never seen an SD swipe his card so fast...lol

He wanted me out of there before I picked up more things.

I don't get the shopping mentality of men nor do I try, as Tim Gun would say I just "MAKE IT WORK" . After that I stopped off at the spa and got my bikini wax then went on my merry way to dinner with him. 

A very profitable day my babies ....total sugar = $10345.62.  < ha ha ! He sure acted like he was spending that amount.
Correction: Total Sugar: $1035.62

Mr. Finance "Broke" and Return of Mr. Investor

A few days ago, Mr. Finance texted and asked if I was free to see him. Of course I said "YES" I just saw more $$$ in my eye's....but that all crashed and burned when he continued to tell  me that he really wants to see me but I might have to wait until next weekend because he is short on the amount we agreed on. Which was then  followed by him hinting would be OK with me if he was a little short this time.

Homie don't play that!!!!

I honesty believe that was a test to see how desperate I was for the cash and to see if he could get away with it. I realized at that moment that  Mr. Finance is broke, he is some poor sap unhappy with is life, wants a little excitement but obviously can't afford it, that $500 he gave me the first day was probably a big stretch for him..... Poor Guy. But I'm allergic to being broke so I just nicely told him that it would be no problem if we saw each other next weekend when he has the full amount, and to stay in touch . C'mon business is business, image what the future holds if I let him short me on our second met....smh.
He hasn't done enough for a break,  I think I might have to replace him my babies  :(.

Mr. Investor for those of you that are new to my blog is a 32 year old emotionally 25yr old guy I met almost a year ago. We stay in touch here and there but lately he has been trying to resurface on the scene...commented on things such as me cheating on him if we were together. ....I love it! BTW he is 32 with the "black amex".... =)

Other than that things have been pretty calm and quiet on the SD front, Mr. EMS went away for a few days...a break much appreciate..he is a bit clingy but I do love his spoils.

Mr. Blackcard called today confirming my address for a package he is sending me :), i wonder what it is!! I'm not that excited because his gift giving skills are pretty whack but I will keep you babes updated. Especially next week when Mr. Blackcard is in town and when I'm off to Vegas the weekend after.

Til next time my babies....

Mr. EMS Update

After work today, Mr. EMS picked me up again...he is really into the whole "girlfriend/boyfriend" shit. It's OK as long as I get those $$$. We went to dinner at a local Italian restaurant ...picked up a bottle of wine and headed back to my place for the night where he then paid my $250 phone bill...I really need to stop calling the Caribbean  so much :(.

He is going away for a few  days and I was a little disappointed when he only gave me $200 cash. But after reviewing my "SD Income" excel spreadsheet 
(that's how I keep up on funds from my sd's.. babies, it helps me appreciate them during the down times...lol)  I realized he has given me $2,549 in the last 8 days (cash, bills & gifts) not including dinners ..so I can't really be that upset now can I ?

Mr. Finance text me yesterday, he wants to see me soon....so I'll probably see him while Mr.EMS is away. :)

Til next time my babies!!!

Quick Mr. Blackcard Update & it's an UP-date!!!!

Ladies , today Mr. Blackcard  booked 2 first class tickets for my SB friend and I to join him  in vegas next month.... It's going to be soooooo hot! I'm always sooooo alone on these trips.

I'm a little nervous about introducing an SB friend to my SD's but you never know until you try. 

Til Next Time my babies.